Self
Unbroken
In Self Unbroken, I write about the beginning of my recovery, when long-buried memories of profound childhood trauma began to emerge, and the journey that followed toward healing, wholeness, and freedom. I share the painful realities of what I experienced while exploring a question that has become central to both my life and my work: What remains of us after devastating trauma? My own experience has taught me that beneath even the deepest wounds, something essential within us can remain intact—and that re-discovering the unbroken Self can become a powerful path toward healing.
Some readers may find this material distressing or triggering. Please take care of yourself as you read. You may wish to pause, skip sections, or return to the book when you feel ready.
My hope is that, alongside the difficult material, you will find a story of resilience, healing, and the possibility of discovering that something essential within us can remain unbroken.
Shaping my recovery
Self Unbroken contains frank and emotionally intense descriptions of severe childhood trauma, including sexual abuse, violence, and experiences of profound psychological suffering. These passages are drawn from my own life and are an integral part of my story of survival and healing.
My understanding of healing has been profoundly shaped by my decades of work with Internal Family Systems (IFS). In Self Unbroken, I bring together my personal experience and what I have learned through this work, exploring the relationship between our wounded parts and the deeper Self—the compassionate, courageous, calm presence that can emerge when we learn to relate differently to our inner world. Writing this book has allowed me to explore these ideas not simply as a therapist, but as someone who has lived them.
Praise for Self Unbroken
Don Davies, MD. Psychiatrist in private practice, Santa Cruz
Here, we have an honest account of the difficult work of recovery, insights into the dissociative response to trauma, and the redemptive possibilities that exist within the soul. This book is a must-read for clinicians and laypersons interested in trauma, dissociation, and recovery from severe childhood abuse.
Richard C. Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems Therapy
A powerful read for anyone on that journey.
Frank Rogers Jr., Author of Cradled in the Arms of Compassion: A Spiritual Journey from Trauma to Recovery. Professor of Religion at Claremont College
Dantean in its graphic depiction of hell, Falconer proves to be a reliable Virgil in companioning himself and others through the sordidness to a life of sanity and contentment on the other side. May this daring and perceptive account give hope to anyone who knows these same cesspools and longs for their soul’s liberation.
The Book
Although challenging to read, ultimately Self Unbroken is my testament to the possibility of becoming whole without pretending that I was never wounded. It is an honest exploration of suffering, survival, and the extraordinary capacity we have to heal.
I wrote this book to offer hope to anyone who has experienced profound trauma, and to help therapists and others to better understand the experience of childhood sexual abuse. I want to share what I have come to believe through my own journey: that even after devastating experiences, our deepest Self can remain unbroken, and discovering that unbroken Self can open the door to genuine freedom.