The Others Within Us

A book by Robert Falconer - Released April, 2023

Discover more about what led Bob to Internal Family Systems Therapy and what has compelled him to explore the full range of the IFS method of therapy, and to begin his deep exploration of unattached burdens.  

Learn about what fueled Bob’s longing to do this work, to become an author, and to become the IFS Trainer and Counselor that he is today.

The Others Within Us:

Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession

Sparked by an IFS client’s lifelong affliction with an unattached burden—something in her mind that was not part of her—Bob began a decade-long study of the others within us and how they are treated worldwide.

Bob’s focus for most of his long career was trauma. His main focus is now on this phenomena. The results of the research in this book is important to all of us because what it reveals about the nature of mind holds a crucial key to healing our underlying alienation and isolation.

This book includes many case studies and a detailed breakdown of how to work with these phenomena from an IFS perspective. It also includes an extensive survey of how the others within us have been viewed and worked with in times past and in many cultures around the world.

The journey Bob has taken goes to the farther reaches of human experience and has caused him to vastly expand his beliefs about the nature of mind and healing.

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Cover image for Robert Falconer's book - The Others Within Us.

Richard Schwartz - Founder of Internal Family Systems

Extract from the Foreword

Several years ago, my friend and colleague, Bob Falconer, became fascinated by Unattached Burdens (UB), and specialized in releasing them. I first encountered this UB phenomenon over 25 years ago. I was quite shaken by the encounter. I stayed curious about the UBs and asked the parts of me that wanted to deny or dismiss them to step back.

This book can help many people. Bob has done an impressive amount of research on how the UB phenomenon is understood and dealt with around the world and lays out clear guidelines and examples for using IFS to unload them.

As Bob so thoroughly documents, most cultures other than our Western rationalist one, see them as inhabitants of the spiritual world and have quite elaborate and sometimes violent rituals for expelling them. I’ve always taken the position Bob cites that a focus on how inner systems work and how clients describe them, without worrying too much about what they are ontologically, is the best path.

After 40 years of studying these fascinating inner worlds, I know a lot about how they operate and how they can transform and heal, but what they actually remains a marvelous mystery. Anyone who spends time exploring their own or their clients’ inner worlds, will eventually encounter what we are describing.

It feels good to no longer keep these data secret.

– Richard Schwartz: Founder of Internal Family Systems Therapy

Early praise for The Others Within Us

Paul Ginter

IFS Lead Trainer

Drawing from a wide range of spiritual, philosophical, and cultural traditions, Bob helps us make sense of the phenomenon IFS has come to call “unattached burdens.” Based on his courageous work as a therapist and consultant, he provides detailed descriptions of how best to work with UBs – tried and true paths and potential pitfalls.

Anìbal Henriques

Head of Sociedade Portuguesa de Psicoterapias Construtivistas

Robert Falconer is such a stimulating author, and his books so well written.  I am always learning a lot and having so much fun as I read him.

Kay Gardner

IFS Lead Trainer

Robert Falconer’s book on Unattached burdens is groundbreaking! Bob has been teaching and exploring this subject for the last 20 years and has shared his vast knowledge of Unattached Burdens in many of my trainings.  If this subject is of interest to you, this is the book to read.  

Frank Rogers Jr.

Ph.D. Professor of Spiritual Formation at the Claremont School of Theology & Author of Practicing Compassion

Robert Falconer is not only a seasoned psychotherapist; he is a spiritual guide. He explores with insight and compassion, interior phenomena that have been denigrated as demons throughout history and relegated to exorcisms.

Drawing on years of vast academic research and sensitive clinical experience, he offers an account of these phenomena that is extremely well-researched, exceedingly clear theoretically, and immensely concrete and practical. The Others Within Us is clearly the most complete scholarly resource on IFS and Unattached Burdens (UBs).

Tom Holmes

Author of - Parts Work: A Path of the Heart

Bob Falconer’s knowledge about what IFS terms “unattached burdens” is comprehensive. 

He is one of the most experienced IFS professionals practicing and teaching about how to work with these special kinds of dynamics of the inner system.   With his clear writing style, extensive case examples, and voluminous review of literature on related issues, his new book, “The Others Within Us” will become an essential reference for those working in this field.

Robert Grant MD

Founder of the Healing Realms Center - Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy

The role of spiritual experiences in human life, and healing, is becoming undeniable.  This book is full of rich conversations between therapist, client, and spiritual entities which call us to have confidence that these conversations are real and worthwhile. 

Bob has been my go-to consultant for unattached burdens for my career in internal family systems which I offer with psychedelic medicine.  Bob shows us ways to talk with the unruly forces that appear in our clinics and this book is the resource I will keep close at hand.

Over the many years I have known Bob, he has relentlessly pursued continued depth and versatility with IFS. Bob’s talent for teaching and working in the IFS model is informed by his passion for his own parts and the healing and growth he has experienced. All of this is supported by his strong and ever-growing spiritual foundation.

“I have personally witnessed Bob engage a wide variety of learners with IFS. I recommend him as a consultant, teacher, coach, and therapist for anyone interested in learning or deepening their IFS skills.”

Karby Allington-Goldfain, MA, LPC, LMFT  IFS, and EMDR certified therapist & EMDRIA approved consultant.