About Bob
Discover more about what led Bob to Internal Family Systems Therapy and what has compelled him to explore the full range of the IFS method of therapy, and to begin his deep exploration of unattached burdens.
Learn about what fueled Bob’s longing to do this work, to become an author, and to become the IFS Trainer and Counselor that he is today.
Robert Falconer – Spiritual Guide
Bob recently published his new book about IFS and unattached burdens – The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession.
For the past decade or more Bob Falconer has devoted himself full-time to IFS work (Internal Family Systems Therapy). In that time he has attended all levels of IFS training offered, and has been a program assistant more than 18 times.
Bob has been at many workshops and events with Richard Schwartz both as assistant and participant. In addition to studying with many of the other senior IFS trainers, He also co-authored a book with Richard Schwartz entitled, Many Minds, One Self. For all of his therapeutic work, both professional and personal, Bob now uses IFS almost exclusively.
Earlier teachers, other modalities
Before this Bob used and explored many forms of therapy, starting with Ericksonian hypnotherapy which he studied with Carol Erickson. He received his master’s degree and hypnotherapist certificate under her tutelage. Then he met and began studying with Jack and Helen Watkins, the creators of Ego State Therapy.
Before beginning his graduate work, starting in 1971, Bob was involved with the Esalen Institute where he has attended more than 120 events and workshops. At Esalen Bob met and worked with many of the leaders of the human potential movement and focused on Gestalt Therapy mainly with Mariah Fenton Gladys and Christine Price. In the 80s and 90s Bob also studied codependency and addictions with Pia Mellody.
“Over the many years, I have known Bob he consistently demonstrates his Self-lead commitment to service continuing to develop the expertise that he’s so ably demonstrated in the IFS master class I was honored to host.
“Bob has the courage to explore the deepest places of suffering and bring healing to them in himself and others. His integrity is inspiring. He facilitates healing in realms into which very few others have the skill, courage, and competence to venture.”
Derek Scott, RSW, IFS certified therapist, founder of Internal Family Systems Counseling Association of Canada.
Espressive Arts & more
Bob also had the great pleasure of studying with Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication. He studied expressive arts therapy with Anna Halprin, Stuart Cubley, Andrea Juhan, and many more. Bob has a deep and very long-standing interest in shamanism, a curiosity that stems from his undergraduate days as an anthropology major. He was lucky enough to be able to study briefly with Michael Harner and Sandra Ingerman, among others.
He likes to joke that he has studied almost every form of psychotherapy known to mankind, many of which shouldn’t be; but these are the major ones. Bob has known about IFS for more than 20 years but was so deeply committed to the other modalities that he didn’t become 100% IFS focused until almost 2010.
Determination to Heal Himself and Help Others
Bob’s own history is one of extreme sadistic child abuse; sexual, physical, emotional, and spiritual. His brother suicided when they were teenagers, his mother was in and out of mental hospitals, and his father was murdered when Bob was 21.
His work in therapy was motivated by his own need to heal and he was drawn to working with men with similar histories. He was one of the first men to publicly talk about being a sexual abuse survivor.
Bob became an activist in the survivor movement. Many reading this will be too young to remember but in the 70s and early 80s, most therapists behaved as though the sexual abuse of children hardly ever happened.
There was no diagnosis of PTSD until the Vietnam veterans became active and pushed a very resistant and unwilling therapeutic establishment to include it in the DSM. For more than 10 years Bob was the Executive Director of the Institute for Trauma Oriented Psychotherapy. In this capacity, he co-edited a series of four books with Robert Geffner of the Family Violence Institute.
The Author Emerges
At this time Bob also published an autobiographical account of his healing under the pseudonym Robert Blackburn Knight so that his clients would not know the details of his personal history.
Bob still consults with a few of these male complex trauma clients, though in the past few years his focus has shifted to helping others learn the IFS model because he believes it’s the most compassionate and potent way to deal with severe trauma. Also, it is the clearest, simplest, and most helpful model of the human mind that he has found in his long search. Now in his 70s, Bob is focusing more and more on the spiritual dimensions of healing. He is currently completing his book on unattached burdens, and guides: The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession in 2023.
“Bob is a master practitioner of IFS. His teachings have had a wonderful impact on my practice and my life. I met him years ago in a training with Richard Schwartz. We were all struck by Bob’s courage, knowledge, and wisdom. His book (co-authored with Richard Schwartz) Many Minds, One Self had a profound impact on me and is one of the seminal works in our field.”
Charles Silberstein, MD psychiatrist at Martha’s Vineyard hospital, and medical director of the Island Counseling Center.
English
en Español
“Over the many years I have known Bob, he has relentlessly pursued continued depth and versatility with IFS. Bob’s talent for teaching and working in the IFS model is informed by his passion for his own parts and the healing and growth he has experienced. All of this is supported by his strong and ever-growing spiritual foundation.
“I have personally witnessed Bob engage a wide variety of learners with IFS. I recommend him as a consultant, teacher, coach, and therapist for anyone interested in learning or deepening their IFS skills.”